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Funny Stories


My younger brother lived in NJ for most of high school,
and this one spring break in the 80s , he brought 3 or 4 of his friends here with him.
After spending the 1st half of the week in hotels smokin and playing the newest video
game (Mike Tyson's Punch-Out ahhahah), we got bored and I decided to show them the Tunnels.
When we got there, we went right for the roof of the gym as that was my favorite hangout at the time.
We hung out there drinkin for quite some time and decided to go somewhere else (I dont remember where now)
In order to get down, you had to kinda slide down the slight incline, go thru a little opening which was
behind a brick wall and then climb down a ladder that was missing the 4 or 5 rungs closest to the floor.
When going down the little incline, a small section of the roof broke out and one of the dudes from New Jersey
just disappeared! I looked down and there he was, in the new hole , supporting himself by his elbows on the sides
of the hole. No one wanted to go near him out of fear of more roof caving in, but me and my friend Dion quickly
grabbed him and pulled him up. Man i still remember the look on his face, I dont remember his name, but I remember
the fear all over his face.
After we pulled him out we shined our flashlights down the hole.....
Turns out, his feet must have been hanging about 6 inches above the floor of a small room in the attic.
I wonder if he ever lived that down.
So on the way down the stairs that night, we were being jackasses and teasing him about his near death expierance
and jumping down entire flights of stairs. I remember we were on the second floor , so like halfway down. After
I landed I remember thinking "maybe we should cut this out" and turning to look and see if everyone was behind me.
This was when Dion came fliing down the stairs and landed on his ass on the 3rd or 4th step. He laid there screaming
about his back. I knew that you cant move someone if they had a back injury, so we just sat for a few to figure out
what to do. My younger brother had been there before so i sent him and his friends (minus one) back to the car.
I had the dude who almost fell thru the roof stay with us in case I needed another person, besides, he kinda owed Dion
for helping pull him out of the roof hole when even his friends wouldnt go near him.
After about an hour of sitting there on that cold stairwell, I concluded there was nothing wrong with my friend and
grew tired of his drunkin shananagins. I tried to pick him up and he screamed again. I didnt wanna go to jail so I let him
lay there for a bit more. Finally I said to him "Look, you need an ambulance. This guy here doesnt even know where he is,
I cant leave him here." I gave my buddy a big stick for protection and aimed my flashlight out the broken window on a tree
near the stairwell.
Me and Roofhole went back to the car and to the nearest payphone where I called 911 and told them my buddy had fallen
at the tunnels and needed help. I told them he was in the southern staircase of the gym building , and that there
was a flashlight aimed out the window where he was. They kept askin me stupid questions like who I was and where I was.
It seemed to me they were trying to keep me on the phone, so I hung up and went to the next payphone.
They said they had found him, but wouldnt tell me how he was and started with the stupid questions again.
So I went to the next payphone and called again....and again....finally , they told me "We found your buddy
pretty much where you said he would be, excpet he was walking around outside the building with a big stick in his hands,
when we turned the lights on him, he fell down and started screaming. We took him to St. Mary's in Livonia."
ahhahahhah I knew that fucker wasnt hurt.......I called the hospital and they told me he was fine, and was loking for
a ride home. If St Marys had been in Northville instead of Livonia, he woulda had to walk!
He DID end up in court over this, and even got probation if I remember correctly.


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